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Thread: HORRIBLE JOKES!

  1. #46
    Founder Sneezy's Avatar
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    Re: HORRIBLE JOKES!

    Little Johnny is a pimp
    ah... ah... ahchoo

  2. #47
    Founder Sneezy's Avatar
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    Re: HORRIBLE JOKES!

    Toned.jpg

    A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.

    The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."

    Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.

    He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me". Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.

    Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program

    "Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program."

    "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."

    The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, your ass is mine."

    He lost 63 pounds that week.
    ah... ah... ahchoo

  3. #48
    Frank1rizzo
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    Re: HORRIBLE JOKES!

    lol. Sheen would have given up after a block.

  4. #49
    Founder Sneezy's Avatar
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    Re: HORRIBLE JOKES!

    You give me too much credit
    ah... ah... ahchoo

  5. #50
    Senior Member Treciont's Avatar
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    Re: HORRIBLE JOKES!

    omg that was funny as hell..

    and double omg that chick is fucking hot!

  6. #51
    Epaque
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    Re: HORRIBLE JOKES!

    Lol that one was good.

  7. #52
    Frank1rizzo
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    Re: HORRIBLE JOKES!

    A man escapes from a prison where he’s been locked up for 15 years
    He breaks into a house and inside, he finds a young couple.
    He ties the husband to a chair. While tying the wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
    While he’s in there, the husband whispers over to his wife,
    “Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He’s probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years.
    I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain. Do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!”

    She responds: “He wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he’s gay, thinks you’re cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you, too.”

  8. #53
    Slacker and shiz Virtualdev's Avatar
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    Gamertag: borkeduniverse Steam ID: borkeduniverse Wii Code: 4649 2329 8938 0492

    Re: HORRIBLE JOKES!

    bait and switch
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